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Day 15 - Frost On The Windowpanes

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Jan. 19th, 2006 | 08:06 am
posted by: safebox in blanketforts

Time to Think
By safebox
PG-13, 450+ words
Note: This picks up where Day 03 left off, namely, with Sirius in a whole world of teenage confusion.

/Day 01/Day 02/Day 03/Day 04/Day 05/Day 06/Day 07/
/Day 08/Day 09/Day 10/Day 11/Day 12/Day 13/Day 14/

‘Fine!’ James holds up his arms in surrender. ‘Have it your way!’

And he strolls away, muttering to himself, Peter tagging a long after a swift glance backwards. Remus looks at Sirius thoughtfully.

‘What??’ he snaps.

Remus slams his book shut and leaves the dormitory, shoulders stiff.

Sirius closes his eyes and says a brief prayer for his soul. Now he’s finally achieved some privacy he feels a little overwhelmed by his own thoughts. He grits his teeth and settles against the back of his bed, determined to make some sense of this mess.

For the last couple of weeks he’s been almost paralysed by all the conflict inside his own head. After that stupid, ridiculous day in the snow, he hasn’t been able to get Remus out of his mind, which is appropriate, tenacious little bastard that he is.

Sirius punches his pillow, but it doesn’t do much to salvage his severely threatened masculinity. Still, he probably won’t be regaining it any time soon. To hell with it, he thinks, and grabs a scrap of parchment and a quill.

Do I fancy Moony? … Yes. Bugger.

Does that make me a… he pauses. A what? He still fancied girls, didn’t he? He thought so, yes.

Is it a ‘phase’? Sirius wants to die. But he thinks, and after some rather embarrassed soul-searching he’s forced to admit that no, Remus is not the first boy ever, it’s just a little more in-your-face this time.

No, probably not

And then the worst part.

More than just a physical… thing?

Sirius thinks, and his heart does a weird little fluttery thing, and Sirius groans and collapses onto the bed. He swiftly gets up again, and starts aimlessly wandering around the room, knotting his hands somewhat madly. He ends up at the window, and pushes his forehead onto the glass, sending soothing water droplets down his temples. He rubs at the condensation and sees James and Peter standing down below having a fag and a laugh, and he feels a sudden rush of anger mingled with envy for their simple, uncomplicated lives with normal families and no doubts and deviances and screwed up heads.

He steps away from the window, which turns dark as his eyes readjust to inside. To his horror, he thinks he sees Remus just floating around in it. Before he can think about anything any longer, he smashes his fist through the window, allowing an explosion of cold air into the room.


Sirius whirls around and Remus is standing there, looking irritated.

‘Have you quite finished your sulk yet? Came to see if you felt like behaving like a human being again.’

Sirius quickly grabs his parchment and stuffs it into his pocket, then meekly follows Remus to the common room, hoping the stairs shift and swallow him up.

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from: glass_icarus
date: Jan. 20th, 2006 12:01 am (UTC)

squee! *loves on your sirius* :D

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